Positives

When total strangers use the word "amazing" to describe your paintings 😍

Holiday Anxiety

As if it wasn't bad enough already, my boyfriend, who in the 4 years we've been together has never once helped out with making or buying food for the holidays, who's family gives us 4 days notice (at best) what their holiday plans are, has decided to spend the day before thanksgiving making food to sell himself at a bar. So much for sleeping in on Thursday.

I didn't miss you. And that makes me sick to my stomach. I hated being alone, but the second you walked back in the door, your bad habits flooded back in to the bubble I had spent 3 days cleaning. Hours of work became meaningless in a matter of minutes.

I hate this feeling. I used to love the way you made me feel. Now I can't get far enough away from myself.

Flavor of an era

Call it petty, call it what you wish. I know that the situations may be similar, but at least I didn't have to beg and pay for the attention I got. People with always be people, but I was liked for who I was.

It's almost 5 in the morning and I'm watching Star Trek in my underwear, eating mashed potatoes out of a solo cup.

What is this life?

How do you explain to someone that you live with that not cleaning up after themself is disrespectful and at what point after telling them is it ok to be upset?

I don't think I've ever been so depressed in my life.

When you come home from working all day and your lazy jobless boyfriend who doesn't do anything but play video games all day is still sitting on the couch playing video games and you're sick of telling him to stop doing it and you're equally sick of sitting and waiting for him to be done playing so you go sit and watch tv in a different room and he gets mad at YOU.

Everyone has bad days. Everyone has bad habbits. But if you're not going to work to solve the problem, then you don't get to complain.

What do you do when your partner's best friend is a rotten piece of shit human being, and you have physical evidence of the shitty things that they've done to you and other people that you care about, and things have become so bad that you're legitimately uncomfortable even thinking about that person let alone being in the same room with that person, but your partner refuses to do anything about the situation?

Marathon

I've been running on fumes for some time now. I feel like I'm in an endurance competition that I'm in no shape for even though I've been training my whole life. I'm sick of competing. Win or lose, I want the race to be over.

Today I will work 10 hours. Today my boss will take advantage of my patience. Today I will come home to a messy house. Today I will have to bring home dinner or come home from work and cook it myself. Today I have to come home and watch what my boyfriend wants to watch on tv. Today I have to take a shower in a moldy bathroom. Today I will have exactly 3 hours to take care of all of the other grown up things in my life that need attention before I have to go to sleep so I can wake up and have another day like today.

You know that awesome feeling you get when someone tells you they're too busy to make time for you, and then they get an extra day off work every week which they quickly fill with activities and still tell you they don't have time for you.

I am so sick of being the one to clean up other people's messes when they make mistakes. Mistakes happen, but you're supposed to learn from them. And if someone else is catching all your slack because you made a poor decision, you're just fucking up someone else's life and not learning anything.