money, money, money

Isn't it amazing how fast things can go completely wrong in your life without any warning. I'm not talking like a life threatening situation or anything, but something that just throws you off course. Like you make these big big plans to do something great, and one little thing messes it all up.

Right now for instance, my big plan was to move back home in the middle of August. Not too costly or time consuming, but I will need a nice little chunk of change to get me there. Before you get too confused, here's a quick rundown of the last 2 years; I moved here from Detroit a little over 2 years ago with my boyfriend's sister because my boyfriend and his parents had moved out here. This past Christmas my boyfriend and I broke up and I was living with my friend's mom, and my ex and I were going to move back home in March, but I decided to stay because I wasn't ready to leave, but then eventually my friend's mom couldn't afford the place she lived anymore so I wound up moving in with my ex's parent's and sister and nephew. But anyways, after things just progressively going downhill here I decided it was finally time for me to go home. But last night there was a pretty big fight in the household and the news came that some of the family would be going home soon too. But, sooner than I had originally planned. This becomes a problem. First of all, I have absolutely no family out here to fall back on if I can't come up with the money in time to get home, otherwise I become homeless. Moving in mid-August was planned out perfectly according to my paychecks. I only work part-time, which really isn't too terrible, I make decent money, but I also do an hour of driving a day to get to and from work, and my truck isn't too easy on gas. I also have a small loan to pay back before I can move, again, wasn't really a big deal, it's just a small loan, but it's still money I have to fork over. On top of this I need the money for gas to get home and maybe a hotel, food, smokes, and probably a few bucks to get me by until I'm working again. All of this again, no big deal, it's really not going to cost me too terribly much, but all these little things add up. But I had it planned out and myself budgeted to where this was going to work. Now, though I'm not really sure what I'm going to do.

I know I shouldn't be so horribly worried about it, I'm sure everything will work out just fine. But it just makes me think, what if it doesn't work out? What if I need to be gone by next week? It's hard to imagine what you'd do if your life really did come crashing down on you. What would you do if you really had nothing. It makes you think back and hate everytime you wasted money on something you knew you could go without. It's really sad that everything is so centered around money. They say money can't buy you happiness but it really does. I'm not talking living in a mansion, having an Aston Martin that you never drive parked in the garage, and a bowling alley in your private jet's hangar. But having the money to just get by in life is nice. Everyone is so broke all the time, that they worry all the time, and they're so worried and stressed that they get frustrated and they take that anger out on the people closest to them who are they're friends and family and co-workers, and then everyone's pissed off at everyone because Bob can't pay his electric bill, but if he just had that measly fifty bucks everything would have been ok.

Honestly though, you don't know how good you really have it until you really have it bad. Things can fall apart in your life so quick you won't know what to do. So appreciate what you do have, because when you're living in you're car you're going to be cursing everytime you spent that dollar on a soda you didn't need before you went to work, or that pair of jeans you had to buy 3 years ago and you have yet to wear. Oh, don't move to Idaho either, it's really not worth it.