small towns

I believe that I live in the smallest town in the country. Not even population wise, it's just a small town. Everyone here knows every one's business, and they make it their business to tell everyone else in the town everyone else's business. And everybody knows everybody. If you don't know someone, they know who you are and eventually they'll know so much about you that you'll know them. And everyone waves. When you're driving down the road, if you pass a car, they wave, if you drive past someone on the street, they wave. I even find myself doing it sometimes. I guess this town is wearing on me. I've been here 2 years now though, and I still find that I don't "fit in." I know everyone. And it's not that I'm not a friendly person. But it seems like everyone here is so used to that small town life, that they only feel comfortable with the people they've known their whole lives and aren't willing to let others in. You think it wouldn't be too hard to meet people in a city that has a population less than that of the high school I went to.

It's so hard to date here. Not in the way that I can't get a guy, but literally almost all of the even semi-decent ones are taken. A guy friend of mine was recently explaining to me how hard it was to find a date here growing up because his graduating class was all of 15 people and that really doesn't leave you with much of a selection. It makes complete sense. I'm currently garbage picking my best friend's ex-boyfriends. Not that that was my intention, there's just no one else worth going for. She just happened to get to all the decent guys before I did. When I moved out here 2 years ago I was in a relationship and really didn't realize that, but now that I'm back in the game, I've realized just how hard it is.

This also makes me wonder how these people who have lived here their whole lives and married they're high school sweethearts could possibly be truly happy and in love. How could you possibly know what you really want and what really makes you happy when you have such a limited selection? I mean I believe it's completely impossible to find your "soul mate" due to location circumstances, it's a big world people. The right person for you could live in some 3rd world country and you'll never know it. But you have to get yourself out there as much as possible or you'll never really be happy. Granted, Twin Falls, Idaho is about 25 miles from here, and the people who go to school or work down there have more of a chance, but it's really difficult. I myself work down in Twin and it's quite a drive to make everyday. I grew up near a big city that had suburbs around it for miles and miles and miles, here there's an ok sized city and then nothing for miles and miles and miles. And even when you eventually hit another city, it's just a small town like the one I live in. even Boise isn't that big. Bigger than here, but not much better, and you don't get too far out of Boise before you run in to more nothing.

And there's no culture out here. I miss Greek food. Or real Italian food, or good Chinese food. Here there's a bunch of Mexicans and cowboys. Burritos and biscuits and gravy. Good, yes, but it really gets old after a while. There isn't much diversity out here and it drives my insane. Everyone is the same. I hate being able to predict some one's personality. It's very disappointing when you're right.

And yes, I have met a handful of truly great people out here, but it doesn't even begin to compare to back home. I miss going to a good party. Not some cowboy bonfire out in the desert. I really have to hand it to the Midwest on this one, and it might just be how I grew up and the fact that I don't think I'll ever get used to this small town lifestyle, but the wild wild west just isn't wild enough for me.