kids

So this is brock. He is by far the coolest little kid you'll ever meet in your entire life. He's absolutely adorable and has the most amazing, outrageous personality, and he's not even 3 yet. Up until about 4 days ago, he called me "Pa." He could say my name as of recently, but chose to call me Pa anyway. And when he would slip up and call me Beth, he would immediately correct himself. But a few days ago he dropped Pa completely and has called me Beth ever since. And I'm completely baffled as to why he would do that. They say that young kids will try to push your buttons to see what they can and can't get away with, is this one of those instances? I don't see why, no one ever complained about him not calling me by my real name, and he knew my and could pronounce Beth before this, so what in his little mind made him make the change? Am I not deserving of my nickname anymore? Did something tell him to mature a little bit? It just gets me. Why do little kids do little stupid things like that? I'll probably never know, by the time he hits 3, he'll never remember he ever called me Pa in the first place.

I don't think I could ever have kids of my own. I mean don't get me wrong, I love kids. I think they're hilarious, and cute, and all that other fun kid stuff. I just think I'm too much of a kid myself. Not immature, just not an adult. I enjoy having fun, and I hate the responsibilities I already have to manage, I don't know if I could handle an even bigger responsibility. Not that I don't think I'm capable of it either, I just plain don't want to. I like to party and participate in my fair share of illegal activities, and I wouldn't dream of doing those things if I had kids. If I wanted kids I think I'd make a good parent. I've lived with Brock since he was 6 months old and I've helped take care of him and I'd know what to expect if I did have a child. I just don't want that life though. Not now anyway, but I don't intend on changing my lifestyle, and if I did it wouldn't be anytime even with in the next 10 years. And I'm almost positive if I had kids I wouldn't want them that late in life.

I like the idea of kids and a family, I just don't like what comes with it. I like to be able to do what I want when I want to, and not have to worry about the safety of everyone else. That sounds terrible, I know, but it's true. Don't get me wrong here, if a friend or family member is in need I'll be the first one there to help, but shit happens, all the time, whether it's your fault or not and you can't always be the one to the rescue. And I'm not going to willingly put something on the earth that I can't gaurantee I can always be there for 24/7. And to me that's parenting. It is your job to bring that child into the world, teach it right from wrong, teach it to be a good person, and protect it, put your life before it's, do anything and everything to make sure that that child is going to grow up and be a happy healthy person. Which, if you're ready for it is a beautiful thing. But I am not, and I really don't see myself as ever being that person. And again, shit happens, sometimes babies pop up when you really don't want them to. And you have to deal with that situation accordingly. But I can't stand the idea of how we're put on this earth to reproduce and keep the population going, and it's just what you're supposed to do with your life. I believe it's comletely unfair to a child to be brought into the world because mom and dad got married and decided to pop one out. If you aren't completely ready and willing to have a child and deal with the commitment it takes to have children, you shouldn't have them. It causes nothing but misery and heartache for everyone. By all means, if you're ready for kids and you're going to love them with everything you have, go for it. but don't do something you're not ready for. And if "shit" does happen, that's what adoptions are for. If you chicken out at the last second, all you have to do is take that baby to the hospital and make sure it gets inside, you don't have even tell them your name. I just think people don't take the time to breathe and logically deal with their problems.

Call me cold hearted, I just don't think I'm the kind of person that should be raising babies. If anything that's a more responsible decision than just having them because "I'm supposed to." I'd make a good grandma, spoil the hell out of the kid and have fun all day with it, and when it wants to be cranky or boring I'll just send it back to it's parents. And if one day I do get knocked up, maybe I'll be ready. If not I'll give the kid to someone who really does want one and can't have one.

I'm really all for adoption. I am sick of all these people adopting all these babies from some foreign country. That's nice really, but there are so many kids right here in the United States that are living on the streets and suffering. Or what about the 7/8 year old kids in orphanages who never get adopted because they're "too old." I feel for those kids. I think if I ever do decide to have children, I'm going to adopt one of those 7 year old kids from Nebraska or something. Those are the kids who really need someone to give them a chance. I think I could do that...one day. Maybe.